ToL » The Chronicles of Anything » Chapter 25 - Saga 4, Conundrum

Chapter 25 - Saga 4, Conundrum

*

“YOYOY?” “Yeah, what?” “A lot has come to pass in the night.”

The scribe continued sitting oddly on the roof of the tavern overlooking part of a town section of Anything. He appeared to be staring into space, eyes sunken as if he hadn’t slept. Drexlin guessed this was probably true, though whether be choice or though sheer inability, he was unable to determine at first glance.

“GreenDestiny has been sighted, Ranzadule has shown increased activity, new forces are rising.” “You speak as if I am a Mod and am due to such information. Do these tidings concern me?” “… Well, Chronicler, amidst it all, word is spreading.”

Drexlin paused, allowing a brief moment for YOYOY to assemble his own conclusions. The writer made no sound nor move as he apparently contemplated this news, his mind ablaze in a fire of solutions and fears. They were about to embark on a journey, and while it’d hold that no news would be good news, it’d seem this wouldn’t be the case for our fair party.

“Of me, I presume?” “Yes.” “They’ve heard I’m stark raving mad? As if, oh, I dunno, possessed?” “Yeah…” “And returning from my long absence, my Hades, as it were?” “Uh, yeah, that.” “What of the Artifact?” “What? It’s safe.” “No, dolt, of the news! Is word spreading of the Artifact?” “Um, no, I don’t think anyone knows.” “You don’t think?” “I… there may’ve been a curious eye or two.” “But the significance was lost on them?” “Yeah, I, believe so.” “Good. I’m only concerned for our safety, you know.” “As are we all.” “Thank you, Drex. Sorry to bring this upon your humble self, and the others.” “Heh, anything for Anything right?” “Yeah. Whatever.”

YOYOY’s gaze never wavered, Drex not noticing any blinking, not even any breathing. He hoped his unease wasn’t profoundly obvious, as he could now only make an effort to return through the window into their room where CardinalFang and Yewbow stood waiting, Fang first to speak.

“And?” “I don’t think he’s ready to leave.” “Well what is he waiting for?!?” “I don’t know. A sign?”

The Cardinal narrowed his ochre-hued orbs, taking a couple stern steps closer to the half-dwarf. The imp and barkeep stood about even, CFang retorting after a moment.

“If that Artifact of yours is really all he’s cracking it up to be, we need to leave and figure this out quickly. I say we leave without him. We haven’t even left and he’s already slowing us down! Can’t you only imagine it, once we depart? Him raving and ranting every three strides, then pausing for a friendly hack and vomit?”

His tone lowered.

“Besides, he’s possessed by the GraveGhoul. We don’t need such company.”

Drexlin expelled a discontent breath from his nostrils, eyelids drawing into an agitated squint as he deliberately folded his arms, raising his chin ever-so-slightly before he spoke.

“This, coming from a former demon commander of Archer’s Army.”

The putrid one sneered, baring his fangs. Drexlin quickly continued.

“Let’s put it to a vote, then. Those in favor of departing with the only one who could know what this is all about?”

His hand slowly rose.

“And those in favor of leaving our tortured soul behind?”

CardinalFang softly hissed as he raised his own arm higher. Both eyed each other for a good minute, thoughts muddled by the emotions of the standoff. However, somehow, each then began to slowly turn their quartet of eyes towards the corner, where stood Yewbow, nervously tapping his foot on the floor.

“Oh, uh, guys! Haha, let’s c’mon now, there must be some sort of compromise! You’re not suggesting that I be the one to, the one to, to…”

The door suddenly opened, all vision snapping towards it as YOYOY stood there grinning.

“You three ready to go or what?”

With a whistle, he left the room. The trio raised a collective eyebrow and soon followed.

*

Somewhere, somehow, Matrim was watching.

*

There is a path that goes directly from Anything to the Dwarven Caves. Though its beginning is hidden, YOYOY knew the way, and they were off to a good start, sun still climbing in the eastern sky. Drexlin was uneasy, looking back and forth, mulling in his mind as to whether he should call a drink break soon. It’d been a while, he’d forgotten proper procedure.

Yewbow had volunteered for rear guard, an event that caused the closet-coward CardinalFang to chortle and pump his fist with joy. YOYOY took point, leading the way down their route to the Caves and, hopefully, the meeting of DarkGuardian.

“Drink break!!!”

Drexlin froze, parched, eyes darting about searching the others for stark disagreement. They shot him a funny look in return, then relented and shrugged.

“I guess I am kinda thirsty.” “Yeah. Drinks are good.”

YOYOY reluctantly joined them, the others being as merry as they could manage under the circumstances. They drank, joked, ate a bit, fell over once or twice.

“Hey, shush.” “What?” “Shhh!”

YOYOY glared at them, turning his head as if to hear something. The others looked at each other, fear and confusion overtaking them. Yewbow wondered what power YOYOY had at his disposal with the possession and all. Drexlin quietly finished his drink. CFang swallowed the slimy blood-ridden crap in his mouth.

“I hear it too.”

Now Yewbow was intent, eyes closed, the other half of the adventurous band left wondering what was going on. That is, until some whooping and hollering was heard in the distance. All looked, and saw a lumbering thing heading their way. A strange, gaunt figure, advancing at much speed.

CardinalFang’s jaw dropped as he gasped in pleasant surprise.

“Is that Bob?!? It’s Bob!! Wow, how lucky, I wonder what adventure he’s having today!”

YOYOY scowled at the mention of his creation.

“That, my friend, is not Bob. Something else…”

A large spear exploded through the chronicler’s chest, its tip bursting out of his back as he stood, much blood and flesh spattered over the surrounding ground.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s Bob.”

The writer then fell over, Drexlin yelping and taking cover, CFang following suit, Yewbow quickly notching and firing an arrow at the advancing figure, then another. Both apparently missed.

“What foul creation of Hades is-“ “DeathonaStick.”

With that, YOYOY gurgled and fell silent, eyes closing of their own accord, the spear’s shaft neatly sticking straight up in the air. Surely enough, barreling towards Yewbow was a stick figure hell-bent on death and destruction.

The keen archer let loose another bolt, and another, neither finding their mark as trying to hit a stick figure was proving highly agitating, especially as the evil thing insisted on laughing maniacally at each miss. Then something slammed into the side of its head.

The dark figure fell over, wailing, clearly not yet dead. It neatly plucked the object out of its face and continued its insane charge, Yewbow now forced to resort to running away.

He nearly ran into DarkKnightZach who was charging fearlessly right at DeathonaStick with a battle cry of his own. He drew twin razor dueling knives and leapt forward, a stray projectile whizzing over his shoulder. Behind him was a dodo, by name of NirvanaTool, who insisted on screaming “Kill General Lund!! Kill him! Kill him now!!!”

Zach swung once, twice, thrice at the stick figure, the malevolent being dancing about in a miraculous manner, seemingly able to dodge each thrust with ease. Then from some magically-powered device Death drew a pair of scythes, each gleaming in the high sun with the promise of shiny demise.

Yewbow carefully took aim from a safe distance, letting fly another arrow, this one pegging Stick square in the face. Death writhed, wincing and yelling in pain before DKZ managed to finally land a cut, odd lifeblood spurting from the dark being of StickDeath.

An elf revealed himself from cover nearby, firing a volley of fancy runed arrows, each drilling the combatant in the skull regions. It was weakening now, its cries going fainter as it backed away, shielding itself with its hands.

“Stormcrow?”

CardinalFang ran forward from his previous cover, Drexlin following as they each recognized the archer supreme. DKZ shook his head in disbelief of his latest adversary, now bounding away over the hillside. NirvanaTool muttered something about killing the merc general. Yewbow groaned in frustration, letting his say be known.

“We can’t let him get away. He’s been too close. We can’t let word of our journey reach-“

Stormcrow fired a last shot, the missile ripping through the still day air. After they could no longer follow the arrow’s path, something exploded in the distance with much ferocity.

“I don’t think he’ll tell anybody about your little trip.” “So you’ve heard?” “Actually, no, I just happened to show up.” “Yeah, me too. Apparently we’re near a crossroads. Where are you all headed?” “Dwarven Caves.” “Why? And speaking of why, what’s up with the scribe?”

All eyes turned to the scribe, shocked to see him standing. A large hole pierced his frame, though it was visibly healing. Nearby, the spear lay, but seeming to turn into dust. YOYOY’s eyes had turned a deep dark red, and he walked over to the new group.

”What do you mean, by this, what is up? I am of a fine condition. Let us continue to journon our journey. There is much for the knowing. The dwarf is important to ourselves.”

With that, he turned and began marching back along their previous route. Stormcrow nodded silent greeting to Zach, who nodded in return as they followed unquestioningly. Drexlin jogged forward between them with a huff. DKZ turned to the kind barkeep.

“So, just like old times?” “Uh… not quite.” “Oh?” “I’ll explain on the way.”

Meanwhile NirvanaTool was slowly plodding forward, head down in distress. He continued discussion with himself, wracked over the severe lack of Lund around these parts.

Yewbow nervously took rear guard, wondering of what would happen next.

Drexlin had the exact same thought, and they’d never know.

CardinalFang sighed and shrugged, following the ragtag bunch, finding it even more assorted than ever before, also wondering of the true state of YOYOY. At this rate, sometime they’d found a cult following him.

*

© Eric Bailey

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